tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60172799417093824392011-10-06T13:25:20.178-07:00Famous quotes by comic and funny man George CarlinQuoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.comBlogger161100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-78860909226624157562007-05-04T09:39:00.000-07:002007-05-04T09:41:28.357-07:00Doesn't it strike you as mildly ironic that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place? <br />- George Carlin<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/famous" rel="tag">famous</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/famous+quotes" rel="tag">famous quotes</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/quotes" rel="tag">quotes</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/quotations" rel="tag">quotations</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/quote" rel="tag">quote</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/saying" rel="tag">saying</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/sayings" rel="tag">sayings</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/famous+sayings" rel="tag">famous sayings</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/funny+sayings" rel="tag">funny sayings</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/funny" rel="tag">funny</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/funny+quotes" rel="tag">funny quotes</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/humor" rel="tag">humor</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/comedy" rel="tag">comedy</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/jokes" rel="tag">jokes</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/funny+jokes" rel="tag">funny jokes</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/joke" rel="tag">joke</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-7886090922662415756?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-43055365692558485672007-05-04T09:34:00.000-07:002007-05-04T09:37:02.792-07:00George Carlin Quotes<br /><br />Darryl Stingley, the pro football player, was paralyzed after a brutal hit by Jack Tatum. Now Darryl Stingley’s son plays football, and if the son should become paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic. It will be coincidental. If Darryl Stingley’s son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic. If he paralyzes Jack Tatum’s son, that will be precisely ironic. <br />- George Carlin<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/famous-quotes-/">Famous Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://f.webring.com/hub?ring=famousquotesandf">Famous Quotes</a><br /><br /><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/famous" rel="tag">famous</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/famous+quotes" rel="tag">famous quotes</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/quotes" rel="tag">quotes</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/quotations" rel="tag">quotations</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/quote" rel="tag">quote</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/saying" rel="tag">saying</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/sayings" rel="tag">sayings</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/famous+sayings" rel="tag">famous sayings</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/funny+sayings" rel="tag">funny sayings</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/funny" rel="tag">funny</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/funny+quotes" rel="tag">funny quotes</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/humor" rel="tag">humor</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/comedy" rel="tag">comedy</a> <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/jokes" rel="tag">jokes</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-4305536569255848567?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-73890869791899195862007-05-02T17:48:00.000-07:002007-05-02T17:49:07.397-07:00<a href="http://home.worldnet.att.net/~quotations/">Famous Quotes</a><br /><br /><br />If a Kurd, after surviving bloody battle with Saddam Hussein’s army and a long, difficult escape through the mountains, is crushed and killed by a parachute drop of humanitarian aid, that, my friend, is irony writ large.<br /><br />- George Carlin<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-7389086979189919586?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-14051814987774011302007-03-17T00:50:00.000-07:002007-03-17T00:52:17.652-07:00Irony is "a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result." For instance: a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck. He is the victim of an accident. If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah! Then he is the victim of an irony.<br />- George Carlin<br /><br /><a href="http://quotes.worpress.com/">quotes</a> <a href="http://spelling.wordpress.com/" title="Spelling">Spelling</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-1405181498777401130?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-12642782100709258612007-02-25T09:09:00.000-08:002007-02-25T09:09:59.511-08:00<title>George Carlin Quotes</title><h1>George Carlin Quotes</h1><br /><br />If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's, it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence.<br />- George Carlin<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://funny-quotes.blogspot.com/">Funny Quotes</a> <a href="http://www.quotescentral.com/">Famous Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://blogofthedayawards.blogspot.com/2006/11/2006-weblog-awards-funny-quotes-weblog.html" title="Funny Awards" target="_blank">Funny Awards</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-1264278210070925861?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-7036418685637416382007-01-30T22:50:00.000-08:002007-01-30T22:52:14.798-08:00George Carlin Quotes<br /><br /><br />Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://quotes.wordpress.com/">Funny Quotes</a> <a href="http://funny-quotes.blogspot.com/">Funny Quotes</a> <a href="http://mark-twain.blogspot.com/">Mark Twain Quotes</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-703641868563741638?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-29252941821145115852007-01-14T10:03:00.000-08:002007-01-14T10:04:15.372-08:00George Carlin Quotes<br /><br />Don't Blame Me<br />Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me.<br /><br />Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.<br /><br />And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high. But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid. I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff. <br />Source: George Carlin's official Web site<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-2925294182114511585?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-56989161081134571942007-01-14T09:36:00.000-08:002007-01-14T10:03:05.261-08:00George Carlin Quotes - Stuff<br /><br />A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. <br />- George Carlin<br /><br />Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit, and your shit is stuff? <br />- George Carlin<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-5698916108113457194?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-14670749951031866972007-01-14T09:34:00.000-08:002007-01-14T09:35:19.342-08:00George Carlin Quotes<br /><br />If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.<br />- George Carlin<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-1467074995103186697?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-53893800078010163352007-01-13T21:25:00.000-08:002007-01-13T21:27:35.094-08:00George Carlin Quotes<br /><br />I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. <br />- George Carlin<br /><br /><a href="http://funny-quotes.blogspot.com/">Funny Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://funny-jokes.blogspot.com/">Funny Jokes</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-5389380007801016335?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-78351404615930301382006-12-11T20:38:00.000-08:002006-12-11T20:42:11.346-08:00<em><strong>George Carlin Quotes</strong></em><br /><br /><br />Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.<br />- George Carlin<br /><br />I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.<br />- George Carlin<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.quotesexchange.com/">Famous Quotes - Quotes - Love Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://quotations.home.worldnet.att.net/" title="Famous Quotes">Famous Quotes</a> <br /><br /><br /><a href="http://woody-allen.blogspot.com/">Woody Allen Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://shakespearequotes.blogspot.com/">Shakespeare Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://mary-richards.blogspot.com/">Mary Richards Quotes</a><br /><br /><a href="http://groucho-marx.blogspot.com/">Groucho Marx Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://david-letterman.blogspot.com/">David Letterman Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://mark-twain.blogspot.com/">Mark Twain Quotes</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-7835140461593030138?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-40897010243370894252006-11-30T16:40:00.001-08:002006-11-30T16:40:47.235-08:00<em><strong>George Carlin Quotes - Honesty and Dishonesty</strong></em><br /><br />Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.<br />- George Carlin<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-4089701024337089425?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-6359341847864513662006-11-30T16:37:00.000-08:002006-11-30T16:40:00.459-08:00George Carlin Quotes - Present Past Future<br /><br />There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.<br />- George Carlin<br /><br /><br />Lots more quotes available here:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.quotesexchange.com/">Famous Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://quotations.home.worldnet.att.net/" title="Famous Quotes">Famous Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://www.freefind.com/find.html?id=7685396" title="Famous Quotes">Famous Quotes</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-635934184786451366?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-63858578268852431262006-11-21T13:00:00.000-08:002006-11-21T13:01:32.634-08:00Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?<br />- George Carlin<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-6385857826885243126?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-61570377069442774022006-11-14T16:12:00.000-08:002006-11-14T16:13:57.445-08:00I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.<br />- George Carlin<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-6157037706944277402?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6017279941709382439.post-25351299490986731552006-11-14T16:10:00.000-08:002006-11-14T16:12:26.209-08:00Weather forecast for tonight: dark.<br />- George Carlin<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6017279941709382439-2535129949098673155?l=george-carlin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Quoteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16534096833390043711noreply@blogger.com0